Possible Avoidance, Doctors and Things To Do

So, it’s not like I’ve been avoiding posting anything on here, I’ve just been a little depressed lately. Bad things are happening all over the place. Bombings, ricin, bullies, and just the general people being idiots too. The weather in my area is so not helping either. Rainy, chilly, drab and dreary looking, just most unpleasant.

My Spouse-Like-Person and I have been doing a marathon of Once Upon a Time. We stopped watching after the first season to let the episodes build up because we don’t really like suspense, lol. So this past Sunday, we’ve been watching the episodes we have in the DVR. Where in the hell do they dig up these hot, sexy looking actors? Man. Not just the guys, the ladies too, are quite beautiful. I’m not really a fan of a man wearing eyeliner, but the guy that plays Captain Killian “Hook” Jones pulls it off and is … just wow. Colin O’Donoghue. Yep. Google him. Now.

Besides that, it got me thinking to do a post about what I like to do in my down time, or at least when I’m not doing something online or on the computer. I love to read. Probably one of the things that I like doing the most, but I’m really picky when it comes to books. I also like watch tv and movies as well listen to music.

I seem to go in waves of other things that I like to waste my time on. Right now it is jig saw puzzles. Not sure why, but I like putting together puzzles. This past winter, I really got into cross stitching. I started stitching ornaments for the Christmas tree. My goal is to have enough to be the only ornaments on the tree, and still have it look full. So far, I’ve got maybe 10 done? Not sure. I started with the intent to have the ornaments be things from Super Mario, like the 1-Up mushroom, fire flower, piranha plant, Yoshi’s egg, the magic flute and stuff like that. However, I’m starting to think that with the things I have picked out that I want to stitch, that won’t be enough to cover the tree so I’m going to start looking for patterns for other video game characters, power ups and other objects that are easily recognizable.

Other things I like to do are draw, even though I’m really bad at it. Every now and then, I’ll actually draw something that is pretty spectacular or really good at least. I also love to bake cookies, cakes, cupcakes and other tasty desserts. Playing the piano is fun too and writing in general.

As for computer related things that I like to do are read fan fiction, but again, I’m really pick when it comes to that. I also like sim games like Roller Coaster Tycoon and Zoo Tycoon. I think my all-time favorite games for the computer are Wolfenstein 3D and Doom. In addition to games on the computer, I also love video games.

In addition to the above, I like to make cards with my mom. She’s got a super awesome basement that is like a scrapbooking heaven. I also like to sleep in, but I can’t seem to do that lately.

Now for something a little different.. My SLP and I have been on pretty good terms lately, there is still a lot of stress and things between us. He still won’t stop talking during tv shows, making the marathon of Once Upon a Time a little annoying. We recently played kitty rescuers. I wanted to keep one, but he said no. It was even the colors that I want in a cat. However, last year and the year before I was the one saying no to a new kitten in the house. But now that I’ve seen kittens again and been around them again, I want another one.

Something even more different, I think I need to go to the doctor. I’ve had this breathing thing for a while now. I don’t even know what to call it really. I go through I guess waves of a few days where I feel like I can’t get a deep enough breath. I’m not choking or anything like that; it just feels like I’m not getting enough air in to fully expand my diaphragm so I’m constantly yawning. I also think that I may have that sleep apnea thing too. I snore on my back, I snore on my stomach and I snore on my side. Never used to be a horrible snorer, but since I’ve gained weight, the snoring has gotten worse. Never really would snore on my stomach or side unless I was sick and stuffed up. I also just feel constantly tired and run down, like I just don’t get enough sleep even though I try to nearly always get at least seven hours of sleep. My parents keep hounding me to set up an appointment and I keep telling them that I’m working on it, but I’m scared to go. I don’t want to find out that something is massively wrong with me or be told that I have to lose weight.

Look, I already know that. I fight with my weight issues every day and it makes me sad that I even let myself get this way in the first place. But depression sucks ass. There are only so many things that can be said to lose weight and I’m pretty sure I’ve heard them all and tried a lot of things. I refuse to be bulimic because the thought of vomiting after eat is just terrible and I cry every time I vomit. So it’s just not an option. Even if it were a healthy option, I still wouldn’t do it. Anorexia, I’ve sort of been that before. It wasn’t really serious or anything, but I would eat, but hardly anything at all. I’ve thought about doing that again, but I’ve come to realize that I like food too much. Especially bread. I love bread, crackers, pasta, ugh, and it goes straight to my ass and thighs every time.

Anyway, yeah. I’m just scared to go. That’s it. I know I’m going to be told that I need to get rid of some weight. I’ll have joint issues later on in life or sooner from carrying so much weight around on my body. Yeah, yeah, yeah.. I get it.

So I guess, that’s another thing I do in my down time is think about shit like this and worry about it. Not awesome. But I’m trying to be better about it. Promise.

I Don’t Even Know…

Oh my goodness, what a busy weekend! Spent nearly all of it at my parents so I am in parental overload right now and don’t particularly want to see them until this next weekend when I go to church. I need a week to decompress and catch up on sleep if at all possible. I almost did this morning and ended up being 20 minutes late to work. So not how I wanted to start the day, let alone the week. But, regardless of all of that, my weekend was wonderful and I got to spend a lot of time with my nephew. I think this last month is the most time I’ve spent with my nephew since he was born. I’m glad that he misses me when I’m not around him and asks about me. He is such a little ham and I love him a lot. Totally excited for his sibling to be born in September, he’s going to be a wonderful big brother.

Easter was good, my mom said she didn’t get me any Peeps, but one of my aunties surprised me with a small basket with some Peeps and some new nail polish colors along with some healthy snacks. I freaking loooooooooove Peeps. Besides blowing them up in the microwave on graham crackers to make s’mores, I poke holes in the packaging to let them get hard. That’s the best way to eat them.

Hey, Happy Opening Day for baseball! Go Brewers! The place I work decided to allow sports apparel to be worn along with tennis shoes and sneakers, though I have worn my Converse All Stars frequently in the past when I was in my old position. With the new one, I haven’t worn them as much yet. Anyway, I bought two new Brewers shirts the other week because I couldn’t decide what one I liked better so I got both. That’s the logical thing to do right? Lol.

Hrmm.. what else is new.. Not a whole lot actually. I did realize this weekend that I have the piano music to ‘Norwegian Wood’ by The Beatles memorized apparently.  I printed out a bunch of sheet music on Friday, probably abusing my printer privileges at work. Anyway, one of the ones I printed was ‘The Scientist’ by Coldplay and I trying to learn it while my nephew was over at my parents and he wanted to hear my play something else. I didn’t have the piano book that has Norwegian Wood in it with me, but I was able to play it anyway for my little man. He had like five seconds worth of interest in my playing and then ran off to do something else. I didn’t expect much less from a two and a half year old, but it’s still sweet he wanted me to play something. After he ran off, I played Twinkle Twinkle Little Star for him and he started singing it in the other room.

After my nephew left, I helped my mom fill and hide about 120 plastic Easter eggs in the basement for the little kids of the family to find on Sunday. I didn’t think we’d find enough spots for them, but we did. Usually they would be hidden outside and it would be a free for all, but with the snow still on the ground, it was muddy and a little cold out.

I dunno, looks like I’m rambling again so I’ll stop that. I also realized that I may or may not have a crush on a co-worker.. which is annoying. I know I shouldn’t be “looking” or anything because of being with my SLP, but damn, my SLP drives me insane some days and I find myself wondering if I should leave him. I can’t ever decide though because I’m too wishy washy about it and comfortable where I am. I do know though, that if it gets to the point where I am not comfortable in the situation, I will be leaving. So I guess, I can still have crushes (are they even called that at my age?) on people and still be with my SLP. I’d never act on said crushes or cheat on my SLP. The horrible thing about this crush, is that he sits like diagonally across from me, so I see him every time I look up. It also doesn’t hurt that he has a nice voice to listen to. Man.. I’m doomed. But like I said before, I’m not looking to cheat or anything, but he’s just cute and nice and polite and is rather quiet. My SLP is not quiet, always talking while we watch tv shows, when we watch movies at home and sometimes at the theater. It’s like constant chatter from the moment I get home to when I go to bed. I talk to people all day on the phone at work. I don’t really wish to do a lot of talking when I get home. I think a lot of my SLP’s problem is, is that he’s home all day alone with two cats and some fish, so he doesn’t really socialize much. He doesn’t work, does a lot of sleeping during the day and does not do a whole lot around the house while I’m at work.

However, I was pleasantly surprised that he did actually clean the main level of the house. Only things left downstairs are scrubbing/mopping/washing the kitchen floor, I must say that I love my Swiffer Wet Jet. It is fabulous and even better it’s the red one. As for the upstairs, I said that I would clean that. It’s only the room that I occupy and the bathroom. So I may do that when I get home today. Might as well because then the house is relatively clean.

Oh, and before I end this post, I want to complain lol. I finally called the gym I have a membership at to see what I need to do to cancel the membership. Looks like I’m stuck because I signed a contract. Bastards. Even if it were medically necessary for me to cancel the member ship, the most they can do is just put the membership on hold for an extended period of time. The only options I have available to me are to put it on hold for up to three months without a doctor’s letter, or longer with the letter explaining why it needs to be put on hold. However, if the membership is put on hold, then the months are just tacked on to the end of the membership and I would still have to pay for them. The other option would be to sell my membership to someone and pay a one-time transfer fee. Not worth the headache since my membership ends next March. Since I’m stuck with it, I may as well just suck it up and go, but only at night and on the weekends when there is not a lot of people there. Damnit anxiety, why do you have to be such a pain in the ass?