Just Eh Today

I’m sitting here at my desk absolutely bored and so tired that I could fall asleep at any moment if it weren’t the calls coming in every now and then. It’s Friday. I wish I could have slept in today, but tomorrow I will. I say that I will do a lot of things ‘tomorrow’ and it seems to be my favorite phrase as of late other than the standard ‘I’ll do it in a bit.’

There are a few thoughts racing around in my head, a few that are entirely not appropriate for anyone besides myself and my poor disturbed brain. Usually when I’m bored, I can play a game on my phone for a bit or attempt to draw something. There is a picture I drew the other day. It’s pretty bitchin actually and I did not trace a thing on it. When I have trouble drawing something, sometimes I will trace the area I’m having trouble with, but then draw the rest.

It’s funny, when I started this post this morning, here I am nearly seven hours later trying to remember what I wanted to write. Probably some dramatic shit about being stuck in a gray fun sucking prison of doom and boredom. Not quite so ehh now. More like oh my fucking.. please just shoot my brains out and give me a strong stiff drink—which thankfully I will be getting after work. I am just drained. I want to go home and crawl back in bed and not emerge until tomorrow around noon. Sadly though, I don’t think that will the case tomorrow. I will probably be up earlyish and trying to get my room organized, which I’ve been trying to do for a year.

Damn.. a year? Yes, it has been a year since I blew up at my Spouse-Like-Person and moved out of the bedroom we shared. To be honest, not a whole lot has changed. I’m still being told that I’m selfish, we still fight and we don’t really have fun in the sack either. I’ve tried a few times on my own, but I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m broken. I guess I’m ok with being broken; I don’t really feel like I need that in my life right now. I’m still trying to figure myself out. I’m trying to figure a lot of things out actually and it hasn’t been going so well.

But really, today, I’m just tired and I would love to go home and take a nap but I’m going to be a good little worker ant and go out for a drink or two with some other worker ants from my department.

I’m just tired.